By Rania Sayegh, Learning Difficulty Specialist
Everyone has a primary love language that speaks directly to their heart. Love is expressed and experienced differently by children. For example, one youngster may enjoy physical contact while another may need words of praise.
In his book The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman discusses his theory about love languages. He says that there are universal love languages: physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and words of affirmation. These languages are the same for children, teenagers and adults, but they manifest differently, he says.
Connection and happiness
Learning your children’s love languagae influence your relationship with them. It will also give them the feeling that they are unconditionally loved, welcomed, heard and understood.
It’s common for families to have different love languages, which can be difficult to manage. However, learning your child’s love language may make a world of difference in your connection and their happiness.
The five languages of love explained
Physical Touch
For children who have this as their primary love language, physical touch communicates love to them more deeply than giving them praise or buying them a gift. Without hugs, sitting near or beside a child, holding hands, snuggling close on the couch, reading together, kisses and other physical expressions of love, their love tanks will remain less than full
Words of Affirmation
Words are powerful in expressing love. Words that give positive guidance such as saying: “I care about you”. These words nurture a child’s inner sense of worth and security. A child who tells you what they like and often seeks compliments feels loved through words of affirmation.
Some suggestions on how to demonstrate love include using encouraging words and phrases frequently, expressing love multiple times a day by saying “I love you” and “I love to watch you…” (play, draw, sing, help). Creating small love notes and placing them about the house, or in their lunchbox is also another way of expressing love affirmations
Quality Time
Spending quality time with your child entails paying close attention to her or him. It is the gift of being there and saying to your child: “You are important to me, and I enjoy spending time with you.” Being there and listening to their tales and feelings, enabling children to help you around the house, taking walks together, chatting and enjoying activities and games together, are few ways to demonstrate quality time
Gifts
A child who frequently offers you something small, such as a wrapped toy or flowers from the garden, is likely to feel appreciated through presents. These items can be offered in conjunction with any of the other love languages. Small, affordable tokens or homemade gifts, items that match their hobbies, or gifting a book you and your child can read together are some suggestions for gifts of love.
Acts of Service
You don’t have to say “yes” to every request if your child’s primary love language is acts of service. It is crucial, however, to be attentive to these specific demands and realise how your reaction may either fill or empty your child’s love bucket.
Each request needs a thoughtful, caring response. Carrying them to bed and tucking them in, cooking them a special meal, pouring them a hot drink and delivering it to them, are all examples of acts of service.
You can contact Rania Sayegh at [email protected]
