By Dina Halaseh, Educational Psychologist
In today’s world, many parents struggle to find the balance between juggling their responsibilities and commitments and spending time with their children.
It’s an unending battle of continuous stress and
guilt where we feel we are never doing enough and life is always overwhelmingly filled with tasks, chores and commitments.
This is normal. This happens to many parents no matter how well you can manage your time or prepare detailed schedule planning for every aspect of your personal and professional life.
Meaningful parental involvement
In this pursuit, many parents may inadvertently prioritise quantity over quality when it comes to spending time with their kids. However, research suggests that what children truly need is not more activities or time, but rather meaningful parental involvement.
The good news is that parental involvement is never defined by the amount of time spent with our children but the quality of time-in other words, quality over quantity!
If it’s very hectic and busy just aim for TEN minutes! It’s important to spend ten minutes per day of high quality time. This involves active listening, communication, focusing on one child at a time.
Spending these ten minutes focused on each child gives them the opportunity to connect with us as parents and feel loved, express themselves and communicate with us and strengthen our bond. This safe space will soon become something children look forward to too.
One-to-one parental engagement
Our daily activities and schedules are filled with extracurricular activities and structured events. These, of course, have their benefits, but we need to keep in mind that they should not overshadow the significance of one-to-one parental engagement.
We end up so engrossed in driving them around, finishing tasks and crossing off the “to-do list,” that we stop being mindful about spending quality time with them. We might see them for a good amount of time, but never with purposeful intent.
Research shows that children with involved parents will exhibit better academic performance, improved social skills and higher self-esteem.
How to
Some very simple ideas include asking about their day, engaging in meaningful conversations about their interests and aspirations and playing a certain game with them.
These interactions should definitely happen without any distractions, interruptions or using our phones during the interactions.
One last thought though: Being involved does not mean being controlling. The key to effective parental involvement lies in finding the right balance between being present and not being overly controlling.
Offer guidance and support and allow your
children the freedom to explore and learn from their own experiences.
You can contact Dina Halaseh at [email protected]
