By Nathalie Khalaf,
Holistic Counsellor
Everything is energy. We are energy manifested as a physical body and we have both masculine and feminine energy regardless of the physical sex we are born with. Both masculine and feminine energies have characteristics which are necessary for our physical as well as our spiritual growth.
The feminine energy, controlled by the right lobe of our brain, is all about receiving, softness, slowness, creativity, sensuality, emotion, intuition, our connection to all that is, and Being. The masculine energy, controlled by the left lobe, is all about giving, harshness, speed, science, sense, being rational, independence, using logic and Doing.
Finding the Balance
We all need to find an equilibrium within us among all these characteristics which make us who we are . It is through our social conditioning and belief systems that we box ourselves into this or that, either or.
The symbol of the Yin & Yang is a good example: the white has black in it and the black has white in it and both occupy the same space. Both of them together create the circle. We need to find that balance of both within us; one that can be achieved by creating awareness of what we suffer from in life.
During our childhood, and for so many generations, boys have been brought up and treated in a certain way and girls in another. Boys have been told to behave in ‘ a certain way’ and girls the opposite.
In some cultures, we have even gone as far as scolding boys for crying when in pain. Boys have been told not to cry as crying is for girls. Boys therefore create a huge emotional block as youngsters and as men, may get angry at their female spouses or daughters when they cry. They may simply not know how to deal with such an onset of emotion. Why? Because in their psyche, they do not recognise that emotion and therefore become agitated when they can’t help.
Our Feminie and Masculine traits
We should all become aware of the feminine as well as the masculine traits within us. Any imbalance will show up later in life as mental, emotional or even physical disease. There is no shame in men displaying their feminine side and no shame in women displaying their masculine side; in fact it would help so many of us with our relationships. Some women, for example, are not taught how to manage their finances therefore end up relying on a male figure for this, while some men are not taught to receive and accept emotion and therefore disconnect from this part of themselves entirely; becoming lost in the doing, running and providing role. This can – and does – create a huge burden in many situations if roles are not shared or discussed.
A Mother in All of Us
While Mothers’ Day is a celebration of all the mothers out there, I wish to make a point about not forgetting to celebrate the internal mother within us all, men and women alike. This goes back to my eternal quest of emphasising our love for our selves.
Self-love comes with self-care. Just as a mother would care and love her children and make sure all of their needs are met, she can do the same for herself. The result here is that once that becomes our norm, we can really reach a point of caring for others in a similar way.
How do you personally feel about giving and receiving love? Would you rather give all the time or are you good at receiving? Do you find yourself always doing things for others and not allowing others to do things for you? Do you find yourself judging yourself and holding in emotions in order not to be seen as weak, or are you okay with letting go and connecting to what is going on inside you? Do you trust the inner voice of intuition within you, or do you silence it and go to the more logical response within your head?
Wishing you all, men and women, parents and singles, a very Happy Mothers’ Day!
You can contact Nathalie Khalaf at
[email protected]
