Muslim and Christian
reflections on our spiritual health
Divine Perspectives writers Noor Sa’adeh and Sonia Salfity reflect on how parents can continue to pass on their faith in an ever-changing and challenging world.
By Noor Sa’adeh,
A Muslim Perspective
Family Flavours / November 2021
For many generations, we didn’t question the belief system of our parents and grandparents. For Muslims everywhere, Islamic practices have become part and parcel of the cultural heritage and something deeply rooted in our hearts and minds. However, with the information age, so much information overload bombards us that no one is sure where to turn for truth.
For fear of losing our children, we sometimes become stricter and our children feel constricted. Very few options seem open to them compared to the freedoms they view on social media and the like. Parental concern is very much warranted. But how do we approach these subjects without pushing our children into the very void we fear?
Words of encouragement, not threats
I often revisit a short verse in the Qur’an (3:159) in which God reminds His Prophet to refrain from harshness:
It is by God’s grace that you were gentle with them – for if you had been harsh and hard-hearted, they would surely have deserted you – so bear with them and pray for forgiveness for them.
Although the audience above were companions and followers of Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), it is nevertheless very relevant advice in leading our children down the path of belief.
As a faith of logic and reason, Islam can be very appealing to the younger generation if presented in such a way. God continually asks his servants, “Don’t you hear, don’t you see, don’t you think?” Rather than commanding or threatening our children to practice their faith, we must encourage them to talk, dialogue, ask questions and look for answers within the Qur’an. Not merely say, ‘Because I said so’. Using fear as a tactic, and becoming angry or argumentative, are not what is called for here, if ever.
Patience and mercy
We all need reminders that every chapter in the Qur’an begins with invocations of God’s extreme and continuous mercy. Let us stress God’s forgiveness. We all mess up, adults included!
Like any parenting technique, the one that requires a bit more effort and patience on our part is likely to be the one that gets positive results. After all, according to Qur’an 2:263, “Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than charity followed by injury. And God is Rich (free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing.”
Experiences surpass lectures
Sharing God’s beloved names of love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, loving protection, kindness, gentleness and compassion open hearts faster and more convincingly. Regular breaks from screens to places where the wonders of God’s creation are readily apparent not only strengthen family bonds but help develop that deep and abiding love and awe of God. This, then, God willing, will propel our youngsters to a more lasting relationship with their Creator.
You can contact Sa’adeh at [email protected]
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By Sonia Salfity,
A Christian Perspective
Parenting is hard enough when school is in session, let alone when our kiddos are off for the summer. More time on their hands translates into more chances of getting into trouble. If we are not cautious about how they are spending their time, they risk getting into unhealthy spaces.
From the places they hang out in, to the friends they make, our children are susceptible to outside influences the older they get. This includes the time they spend on the internet and social media avenues that open the floodgates to a host of new problems for this generation.
The problems our youth face in this generation are ones that we didn’t have to contend with when we were growing up. I remember my worst challenge was getting physically hurt on the playground or being left out of a conversation and feeling like I didn’t belong. Multiply that times a thousand as our youth face these issues both in person and online.
The pandemic of anxiety and loneliness
Is it any wonder that anxiety levels are at an all time high among the young in all cultures? It doesn‚t even matter what country you live in, anxiety has become a pandemic. Add to that the pandemic of loneliness and it becomes a real problem in our society.
If we don’t intervene to help our youth navigate life in this kind of stressful atmosphere, we will lose them. We will lose them as they check out emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s hard to see suicide rates increase among youth, but it is the sad reality of the world we live in. Our children are God’s children before they were ever ours and it breaks His heart to see them suffer in this dark world.
Living courageously
God continually pursues all of us to live courageously and step into His healing light. The question is how do we do that in practical ways? Jesus is our greatest example to follow as He consistently taught his disciples and all His followers by example.
Condemnation does not come from Him, rather, His Holy Spirit convinces us to correct our paths and thus lovingly transforms us from the inside out. His perfect love drives out all fear and regardless of how much we mess up, He lovingly invites us to enter His presence as we bring all of ourselves to Him. This includes the parts of ourselves that we’re not so proud of.
Leading by example
When we care for ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, our children are the first ones who learn what it looks like to give our whole health a priority. They learn better from watching how we behave than hearing us lecture them about how they should behave.
Quality time is the time spent with no other distractions around us where we have the privilege of engaging in real conversations with our youth. This includes light-hearted conversations where everyone involved can experience joy in that moment. It also builds the bridges that lead to being comfortable enough to have the harder conversations as the need arises: I site here Ephesians (6:4) “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
The ultimate point is for our children to feel safe in being honest with us about what they’re really going through and not having to pretend. The easiest way for them to learn good, honest communication is when they see us doing that, especially our willingness to not avoid uncomfortable conversations in our own lives. In this way, we will also be setting them up for success in all their relationships whether in their personal lives or their work life. If we plant the seeds early on, we will get to reap what we have sowed: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it,” Proverbs 22:6
It is a personal relationship that Jesus invites us into to deepen our trust in our heavenly Father who loves us more than we could ever imagine. It is only in that safe place that we can begin to experience real change that leads to a healthier body, heart, mind and soul. May we reflect His light as we teach our children to go to Him in every season of their lives in the good days and the bad days and all days in between!
You can contact Sonia Salfity at [email protected]
